Symbolic reading

This points to an internal fragmentation. The 'abortive' nature here is the stalled development of your authentic identity; you feel like you are perpetually in beta mode.

Practical reading

It might be time to step back from external validation and dedicate time solely to self-discovery, perhaps through journaling or quiet contemplation, rather than immediate achievement.

Psychology explanation

This dream suggests a tension between the idealized self and the real self. The psyche is signaling that current efforts to define yourself are encountering resistance because they lack internal grounding.